Selective Service

“And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought.” 

1 Chronicles 28:9 NIV

My kids have amazing servants’ hearts (for the most part).  They each love serving in different areas at church.  A couple of my kids offer to help clear other people’s plates at the dinner table without ever being asked.  All of the kids go with me each week during the summer to my dad’s place to help with the yard work.  My girls are even already talking about finding some way that they can volunteer at the local humane society next summer. 

Sometimes, though, my kids are not so much about helping from a servant’s standpoint, but out of a selfish desire to do what they want to do because they want to do it. 

Confused?

Follow along with this random conversation that usually takes place with one of my girls, oh, maybe a few times a month (and usually stems from my beginning a task involving a spray bottle or cleaner of sorts with a desire to actually clean something):

(Mom on stepstool cleaning inside window)

DAUGHTER:  Mom, can I help you?

MOM: I love that you want to help me.  I am almost done here, but you can ________________ (fill the in the blank with any age appropriate chore that needs desperately to be done such as emptying the dishwasher, vacuuming a room or switching laundry).

DAUGHTER: Nah, that’s okay.

(Exit daughter.)

REALLY?  

Did you not just offer to help me? 

Did I not tell you what was going to help me at that moment?

Now, I know I have some control issues.  Some of you Supermoms are probably shaking your heads right now, convinced that I should have given my daughter her own towel and let her “clean” my windows.  In theory, I completely agree.  In reality, I wanted to be able to see out my windows when I was done and didn’t know when I was going to get around to doing them again.

But, I digress.

When the child that seemed so willing to help walks away, I experience a twinge of sadness.  She did not wholeheartedly want to help.  She was not willing to serve, but rather she wanted to serve her own desire.

My sadness then overwhelms me.  Not because my daughter was not willing, but because I realize I treat God in much the same way.  My daily servitude looks something like this…

God I am wholeheartedly wanting and willing to serve you, except for…

… forgiveness when it comes to someone who has hurt me

…or the patience part when one of my kids messes up

…oh yeah, that good steward stuff seems hard

…and don’t get me started on the whole “die to self” thing

Lord, I want to serve you when it is convenient for me.  I want to serve you, not for Your glory, but for my convenience.  And BTW, please bless me and answer my prayers.  Amen.

Sound silly?  

Maybe.  But it is true, on a daily basis, that I selectively choose how I want to serve God instead of asking Him how He wants me to serve His kingdom.  When He calls me to something too scary, too risky do I push my fingers into my ears and chant “la-la-la-la-la-la-la” over and over again until I don’t hear Him anymore?

How must He feel when I walk away from what He asks me to do?

This has got to change.  

My prayer…my heartfelt, head-to-toe prayer must be one of surrender not selective service.  One of submission rather than omission.  One that tells God I am willing to do anything, not just something.  My mind and heart must be willing to say “yes” rather than “yes, but…” with wholehearted devotion.

The truth is, I must be perfectly content to vacuum when what I really want to do is to clean the window.